There is absolutely no good reason to be telling you this – all it can do is make you think less of me and my housekeeping abilities and lord knows I don’t need any more people thinking my standards aren’t quite up to par with The Beaver’s mama.  I do wear heels and a frilly apron around the house but that’s a whole other story.

I think it’s the fact that this is so appalling and disgusting that makes me want to share it – I mean you just can’t keep things like this all to yourself, especially when it has the potential to make you, dear reader, feel so much better about your own house and how clean or unclean you keep it.

So last week I’m walking through my dining room and I spot something furry on the floor – I mean it’s really furry like one of those little fake mice that people who have cats buy at the pet food store.  So I step a little closer and sure enough it’s got a tail.  My first thought is that it belongs to my neighbor Jeffrey’s cat although that’s completely illogical because Jeffrey’s cat never comes to visit – she’s a house cat and well, I have a dog and it just wouldn’t work.

Anyway I lean down and pick it up by the tail and there are maggots crawling out of its stomach!  I know, I know, makes you just want to scream and do a little “don’t-let-it-get-on-me dance” doesn’t it?

Now how the hell did it get there?

It was right beside the sewing machine where I’d just finished sewing up a cuter than cute dress for my granddaughter.  I mean what business did it have being anywhere near my granddaughter’s dress?  And it must have just gotten there or I would have seen it before and that means my sweet little Gracie must have dragged it from somewhere, but where?

Now I don’t move my furniture around very often to vacuum but the dining room furniture did get reshuffled about a month ago so that means that the disgusting varmit came from my living room or kitchen, just gets worse and worse doesn’t it.  But then again it couldn’t have been dead for long or the maggots wouldn’t still be feeding so it could have been the dining room.

Maybe it was the back porch.  Yes, yes I’m sure it was the back porch.  Oh my god I don’t know I just know I can’t stop thinking about it so I had to tell someone and now you can’t stop thinking about it either.

I’m so sorry.