The Evil Doer has left the building! This, dear readers, is proof that nightmares do eventually come to an end. The fact that he was ever allowed in the building in the first place is proof that Americans can get a bad case of stupid from time to time.

Who knew that it would be so easy — just put him on a helicopter and wave bye? Can you honestly say you’ve ever seen a better sight than that helicopter fading into the distance? Well, yeah there was a helpless Cheney being pushed around in a wheelchair but besides that.

Have you heard the news that the Shrub is abandoning his Texas “ranch” and is settling in the very affluent enclave of Preston Hollow, a kind of townlet right in the middle of north Dallas plastic?

Now a skeptic might point out that Bush only called the “ranch” home as long as he was occupying or running for some political office. Having a ranch made him seem more aw shucks and less pompous – I guess there’s something appealing about a good ‘ole  boy out cutting brush and running cattle like a real man.

Now I’m as glad as anybody that Bush is gone but I’m selfishly worried that Obama might not be as much fun to write about. I mean I can poke fun at Texans all day long because I’m intimately acquainted with all the weirdness and sometimes downright stupidity that inflicts the breed but I don’t know diddly squat about Illinois and Hawaii.

What do people from Illinois call themselves anyway, Illinoisans? That doesn’t sound right. All I know is that Chicago is big, Oprah tapes her show there, there’s a big lake that looks like an ocean and that it gets colder than a well-digger’s ass. Not much to hang my hat on.

I did go to a conference in Chicago once and noticed that everybody called the chain restaurant Chipotle Grill, Cha-poolie instead of Cha-poat-lee. Now that’s just wrong but it’s not really enough to sustain eight years of sarcastic humor. Besides, living in a state that says Shar-lot rather than Charlotte kind of disqualifies me from making fun of people for the way they talk.

I do know that Hawaiians call themselves Hawaiians – my daddy always said High-wah-yuns – and that there’s a real ocean there, but I don’t know what’s funny about them. I know there has to be something – people don’t live on an island for thousands of years without developing weird ticks and some serious inbreeding.

Oh well, it will all come to light eventually. I’m sure there are things about Barack Obama to poke fun at – I just can’t see them yet because I’m still so in love and thinking he’s perfect and just everything a gal could want.